Suicide, Technology, and Acceptance  

Rye Jessen

I spent six hours over the past few weeks interacting with some of the country’s top professionals in the fields of technology and their effects on people (not just teens), and suicide. I learned a lot and gained a new understanding of what educators will face in the next few years.

Not only in the future but also what we are currently working with now.  I don’t have specific numbers, but I know we had multiple deaths by suicide in our district this past year, and it impacted numerous communities including the school at which I work. It is at the epidemic point. Jordan School District and multiple stakeholders including parents, students, schools, local doctors, and a few national specialists are trying to come up with solutions.

The presenters did a fantastic job explaining difficult subjects with explanations and research behind their suggestions, tools, and plans.  If I had to sum it all up, the most repeated pieces of information would surround three main topics.

1. Purposeful connections with family and loved ones 

2. Acceptance for one’s choice by others 

3. Creating meaningful work to share with others 

First, all of us need to make purposeful connections with family and loved ones.

We all need to take responsibility for the fractured relationships that we are creating and building. Yes, social media is part of the problem, but technology and keeping up with everyone else is part of the problem as well. This disconnectedness does not fall straight onto our teenagers. They are learning from parents and other adults about how to create relationships. We’ve spent nearly a generation with computers in our pockets, and we are now starting to see the full side effects, both positive and negative.

Some suggestions I wrote down.

• We have to spend more meaningful, purposeful time with each other
• We should be present in our daily conversation with each other including our kids and coworkers.
• We need to set aside disconnection time and rules regarding technology. Not only for our kids but ourselves.
• We are the parents and need to set clear expectations and follow through

Notice that I used the pronoun we. I share the same amount of responsibility in creating a positive solution.

Second, We need to be more accepting

Utah has some of the highest suicide rates among teens in the country; these statistics are current and viable.   I am still waiting for the presentation notes from our presenters, and don’t have specific percentages, but the number was astonishing. And among the LGBTQ community, those numbers were even higher.  We also know that rates for students who have mental illness in their families, or are connected with a death by suicide, or have previously tried to harm themselves are increasing. We also know that Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACES) compounds the risk of self-harm and death by suicide.

Suggestions I wrote down.

• Parents’ acceptance of their kids is the number one positive factor when connecting LGBTQ kids and suicide.
• Mental illness needs treatment like any other medical problem
• The ratio of positive interactions for a “normal” student is 1 to 3-5 for a “struggling” student the ration needs to be as high as  1-10 negative to positive interactions.
• Check our biases at the door when working with people.

Simply put, we need to be more accepting of everyone.  We need to put our own biases away and love people.

Third, creating meaningful work to share with others

As a middle school administrator, my first and most vital role is to keep kids safe. Parents trust us to keep their kids physically, mentally, socially, and academically safe. We do okay. From our most recent school survey, 79% of our students feel safe; which means that approximately  1 in 5 of our students doesn’t feel safe in one form or another. That is about 200 kids based on our school size or 65 kids in each grade. That is not acceptable. We are working with our teachers to change this.

We are trying to create as many ways as financially, and systematically possible to allow students to get involved in our school. We want students creating things, and sharing talents with others.

We are trying to create groups where students can put others before themselves, serve others,  and build their leadership qualities. There are a lot of things that kids can do to improve themselves and the world around them. This can happen through hard work, service, creative means, exercise, sharing talents, and entertaining others.

These aren’t all of the answers, obviously,  nor would I even think I could come with all of them. This post is more of a way to hold my self-accountable and for me to reflect on thoughts I have had as we go back to school.