“I Don’t Want to be Here”

“I Don’t Want to be Here”

Here can mean a bunch of things depending on who is saying it and the back story connected to that person.  Here could mean a Doctor’s office, a less than ideal marriage situation, a blind date gone wrong, the assistant principal’s office, school, shopping at the supermarket,  or a wide range of other places, both physical and mental.

I recall a parent meeting last year when we knew, going into the meeting, that the parents were frustrated, but thought we (The counselor and I) could repair some hurt feelings and work through the situation. This did not happen. Lies were shared and pinned on us. And some point in the meeting the counselor and I looked at each other and knew we were not going to be able to repair the relationship between the parents, student, and the school. However, the student wasn’t trying to fix those relationships; she was trying to fix the relationship with her and her parents using us in the process. It worked.

We didn’t say anything to each other but silently agreed to own things that we had no business owning. We apologized for doing things the best way we knew how (at the time) and for not helping their daughter reach her full potential. I did not want to be there. I still don’t. It was awful.

Independently and in two very different ways, two parents told me today that their child, “Did not want to be here.” Here meaning our school, but at closer inspection “here” meaning a situation with friends and students that are giving them a hard time. I have good relationships with both students but am unaware of the current circumstances they are involved with.

Tomorrow, I plan on talking with both students, to find out what their “here” is.

I have my versions of “here.” I think we all do. The real question is how do we help kids use their skills and talents to change their current state of here?