Senior Year English My Year of Solitude Part 2

Senior Year English My Year of Solitude Part 2

Let’s take a moment and celebrate the return of NFL football. Tonight’s game is blah, but hey Bears @ Packers on Sunday night. Bear Down!

Missed lunch today and didn’t get to spend time in classrooms. One of those days. Talking about days, let’s get back to 1996.

If you missed part one, it is here.

I’m sitting in the hallway looking through the small window next to the door at other kids perform their assignments. I’m not going to sit here for the next 45 minutes.

I leave. I go to other classes and see if my friends “need to go to the bathroom” code word for let’s go goof around while we are both out of class. They aren’t, and we don’t.

I go back to class, and a conversation takes place, that I don’t remember the details to, but remember that my English teacher sends me to the Principal’s office. She came to check on me a few times, and I wasn’t there.

The Principal’s Office

He, the principal,  is expecting me.
“Aren’t you Linda Campbell’s son?” He asks.
“Yes.”
“I’ve known your mom for 20 plus years; she is fantastic.”
“Yup.”
“Aren’t you one of the Mascots?”
“Yes.”
“Tell me what happened in Mrs. Bodily’s class.”
“Um…I got kicked out of class.”
“Why?”
“Um…she didn’t like my pantomime performance.”
You can see this coming from a mile away. A few more questions, a few more avoidance answers.
“Well, what did you do?”

I stood in front of the Principal’s desk, silent and without props and I proceeded to (use your imagination here) open a door, then close the door, grab a newspaper, then drop my pants, sit on a toilet, read the paper, make grunting sounds, turn my face a bright red, Right about here the unexpected happens, he starts to smile, like a genuine smile.

He sat there for a minute, “Um…?” “You know this is not okay right?”

It’s hard to take him seriously. There is a twinkle in his eye, maybe not a twinkle, but a glint. Which I interpret as; Spencer, that is the most brilliant thing I have ever heard, but I can’t laugh or smile, because as the adult in the situation I need to have a stern look on my face and give you a punishment.
“Are you ever going to do this again?”
“No.” Seriously this was a one-time performance like David Copperfield or the Globetrotters. I am not bringing this back.
“I need you to write an apology letter to Mrs. Bodily, and apologize for your behavior.”
“I am not sorry.”
“I know, but it will help the situation I need you to show that you are sorry.”

Crazy, right. My principal loves my pantomime and thinks is funny, but can’t admit it. And on top of that, wants me to “fake” apologize for previous behavior so that the teacher will let me back to class. What do you do?

I take the peace offering.

Conversation with Parents

My parents are divided on this entire thing, and it is clear from the moment we sit down to talk about the whole episode. Les, my dad, is furious, embarrassed, pissed off, and wants me to get kicked off of the Mascot team (there are two of us) and wants to withhold my trip to California for Band/Orchestra.

Linda my mom, on the other hand, is upset, but pretty passive during the conversation. I have the sneaking suspicion (unverified) she talked to the principal, and he told her how funny the entire thing was.

After the dust settled, I didn’t get grounded, or have to quit the Mascot team, miss Band/Orchestra tour. I had to write a letter.

My year-long war with Mrs. Bodily is not over, but this battle gets marked up on my side of the scoreboard.

Here is what I learned from this experience. Humor is powerful. Adults have a difficult time punishing students for funny, clever well-performed pantomime routines. I also learned how much my mom understands me, as well as how much we are alike.

Conclusion

To sum this all up. At times, kids end up in my office, for doing something inappropriate, but funny. Dumb, but funny. Like you can’t make this stuff up funny.

At times, I sit behind my desk and try to stare across at the student with stern lips and serious eyes, but sometimes I can’t do it, because in my mind I’m thinking, Spencer, that is the most brilliant thing you have ever heard, but you can’t laugh or smile, because as the adult in the situation you need to have a stern look on your face and give this student a consequence.